Every week Danielle LaPorte posts a burning question on her website, this week question is:
What money resentments do you have…that you could let go of?
I have always considered myself as having a fairly balanced and healthy relationship with money. Usually I would just write off this question as not being for me and move on to something else. But this time I decided to stop and think for a second. After all, although my finances are doing well, truth is I don’t always hit my mark when it comes to savings and I’m very inconsistent about how much I actually save and for what.
I used to think this was just me being lazy and reckless but maybe there’s more to it than that.
I was lucky enough to never have a lack of money and always had I’ve always had people to turn to in case of need. In many ways I never truly learned how to respect a budget. As I grew older though I found that not everyone was as lucky as me that many had a harder time paying their bills.
Maybe that should of showed me that I should save for adversity, or that I was blessed to have what I had. What did happen, and what I ended up feeling, and I guess I still do, is something completely different. I felt like a fake! Like none of it was ever supposed to be mine. I felt that I didn’t deserve that money, that there were people that deserved it more than me, needed it more. I felt undeserving of the gifts of graduation when my grades were merely average, and I new I could of done better. Undeserving of the attention and help of my family when I came back from quitting college, not knowing what my next step would be.
In many ways I still feel underserving today. There are people more qualified, better prepared, more creative or simply in greater need that should have my job and get this money, because surely I cannot be deserving of it.
But the question was money resentments that I could let go of…. And maybe this is one of them.
Regardless of there being people in greater need or with better skills, I got this job and I worked for the money that comes with it. Maybe it’s time to believe in myself, to know that I am worthy of this money, to remember that I worked for it, and most importantly, that I am capable of sharing it with the world and trough it help others improve their life’s.
It’s time to let go of the guilt and use what I have to help others and to make their life a little better.